The Secret to Making People Like You

You can actually make someone like you more by asking them for a small favor. Contrary to instinct, doing a kindness for someone else matters less than letting them perform a helpful act for you.

This counterintuitive social trick works because of cognitive dissonance. When someone helps you, their brain struggles to reconcile the effort they put in with the idea that they might dislike you. To resolve this mental tension, they subconsciously adjust their feelings and decide they must actually like you after all. Benjamin Franklin famously used this method to win over a rival by borrowing a rare book from his personal collection. It is a brilliant way to build rapport by making others feel valuable.